JB? Please
by tribalprints
Summary: "Sakura, he's gay." "Fine. He's just as gay as you are." "Excuse me?" "You're excused." Smile.


**ha, uhm, grawr:** This is stupid. And probably poorly written. I know that already, okay? Please don't mock me. I was just listening to Justin and thinking about how I fight with my friends about his… sexual preference. Bahaha.

**disclaimer:** … go fall in a hole.

**title: **Justin Bieber? Please.

**summary:** "Sakura, he's gay." "Fine. He's just as gay as you are." "Excuse me?" "You're excused" Smile.

* * *

A dark-haired, seventeen-year-old male sat exasperated as he watched a sixteen-year-old girl who was noisily jumping around.

"ONE LESS LONELY GIRL. THERE'S GONNA BE ONE LESS LONELY GIRL."

"Sakura. Justin Bieber? Really?"

"YES! He's so amazing and cute and OHMYGOSH. I SWEAR HE SPARKLES. LIKE, SHIMMER SHIMMER."

Sakura Haruno, the pink-haired (other) eccentric best friend of Sasuke Uchiha, was currently spinning and dancing around the room of said Uchiha. The space wasn't small, but it wasn't big either. And Sasuke was beginning to think that if his friends kept coming over, he would need to child-proof the place.

Suddenly, as if hit by a lightning strike of inspiration, Sakura spun into an Indian-styled way of sitting on the floor while facing Sasuke. "Hey. Hey. Hey. Why don't you like Justin?"

"How _can_ you?"

"Do _not_ smart-ass me, Uchiha. I know all your secrets."

Sasuke then remembered why he had that shovel in his closet. For annoying childhood friends, of course.

"He's Canadian."

"What? Is that it? SASUKE, YOU RACIST BASTARD."

"He's stupid."

"Your face is stupid."

"No, really. His brain is like the IQ of a baby, or something."

"What_ever_. I bet you're just jealous that his hair can look so smooth and perfect while your hair looks like the buttocks of poultry."

"… Are you insulting my hair?"

"No _durr_, genius. Weren't you supposed to be some kind of prodigy? Jeez, were the doctors ever wrong. Sigh."

Sakura got up and dusted her pants off (like there was dust on his floor to begin with? In _Sasuke's_ room? Ha, funny joke) and walked to Sasuke's laptop.

"What are you doing?"

"Going on the internet?"

"For what?"

"For porn. What else?"

"Your sarcasm is annoying."

"Your emo-ness is annoying."

Soon, another song was blasting out of the poor black device. With a voice that the young Uchiha was ready to strangle.

"BABY, BABY, BABY – "

"NOOOOO."

"Sasuke. Shut up." Sakura stated, anger evident on her face. Because, hello? He _totally_ ruined her singing. And it's "OH" not "NO".

"Hn." Translate: God, spare me. Please.

"Aha! SHAWTY IS AN EENIE-MEENIE-MINY-MO LOVER!"

Sasuke stood up, stomped to his laptop, and shut it off.

"Sasuke? What the hell, man!"

"I hate that chick."

"One, he's a _dude_. Two, I can't accept that you don't like him. I need a _legit_ excuse."

"He's gay."

Queue wide-eyed stared and dropping of the jaw. "WHAT? But, he sings about _girls_, Sasuke."

"He's like a Clay Aiken reproduction. You know? Like those ads. _New and Improved_."

"NO. I WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS."

"Just shut up and stop being in denial."

"Fine," Relief swooshed through Sasuke.

"He's just as gay as you are."

"… Excuse me?"

"You're excused." Smile. What a cheeky smile.

"I'm not gay, Sakura."

"Oh, yeah? I dare you to prove it."

"I will."

"But you're probably too obsessed with your hair-gel and pale skin to want to risk it. Who knows, you could break nail! Now _that's_ tragic."

During her ranting, Sakura failed to notice that the teenage (a.k.a. _hormone-filled_) boy had advanced and was now right in front of her.

"Uh, Sasuface? I know I told you that you're an ice-muffin with an icicle up your ass, but that doesn't mean you need to get all warm and friendly all of a sudden."

Blushblushblush_blushhhhhh_.

"I need to prove to you I'm not a Bieber, remember?"

"So? What does that have to do with this overlapping of personal bubble space and th – "

And then Sasuke shut her up.

* * *

Her mind was blank, like, clean white-board blank.

And soon, Sakura came back and thought that all of her worshipping of Justin had gone to waste. But as soon as she felt something glide across her bottom lip, she figured that it didn't really matter anymore.

.

.

.

.

.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm la – OH MY GOD."

While Sasuke burned with embarrassment and fury because of Naruto, Sakura could only laugh.

"I THOUGHT THE BASTARD HAD BIEBER FEVER!"

* * *

Oh, _ew._ Being two years older than when I wrote this, I can really see how much I've grown up. And it's safe to say my writing has definitely improved. Well, I mean, I hope so. At least this is better than KSM. You can hopefully expect a new story (drabble-series or a 1-3 shot) soon? Maybe? Alright. Thanks for reading and bearing my fourteen year old short story skills.


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